Way Un Da

This is Amanda in Chinese...or at least I think it is...I found it online.


This afternoon I went to lunch with the ladies of the Joy English Language School, my coworkers. We went to this amazing "All You Can Cat" buffet my boss Bryan loves. I had been there once before with him and his wife and Sarah, the girl whose job I took over. It's delicious and you find yourself eating way more than you ever thought possible. Today though I swore I'd eat mindfully and not be a gluttonous American pig. Little did I know it wasn't me who'd be gluttonous.
I arrived at the restaurant just before 11:30am the time when we were all suppose to meet. Celine, one of the teachers picked me up on the side of the road as I was walking from my apartment. I have to admit, I was a little nervous to be sitting at a table full of woman who barely spoke English. I was a little uncomfortable at first but as they slowly started to show up, each one of them asking me if I had eaten breakfast, I realized my fears were silly and I became more relaxed. If anything, I wanted to take this all in because this was part of the experience after all.
Jocelyn, the ring leader of the teachers (the office manager) told me to go get food. So I got up, got my plate and started to dish up everything I possibly could fit still needing to get an extra plate for a few stragglers. As I returned to the table I was met with wide eyes and "Ohhhhhhhh" followed by laughter. Apparently I has dished up too much. Or so I thought. I sat down feeling a little silly and began eating as quickly as I could to eliminate some of the massive pile before the others came back to the table. Each of the girls came back with a few things on their plates. Great, this is going to be interesting. They were all asking me if I had eaten breakfast which lead me to believe having that bowl of oatmeal was a bad idea and this was going to be a serious feast. But they are all eating like birds! As I was tackling my mound of sushi, vegetables, fried sweet potatoes and whatever else I thought looked appealing at the time, a couple of the girls had finished what was on their first plates and had gone back for seconds. 'Few' I thought to myself, at least they were getting a little more. That though would be an understatement. These girls can eat. I have been known to put it down but these girls went back for 6th and they each ate 3 rounds of dessert. I was rather impressed with the amount of food they consumed. After two and a half plates I was stuffed to the gills. They each kept coming back to the table with more food for me to try and more for themselves as well. The Taiwanese are very proud of their food and the foods that they enjoy eating. I didn't want to be rude so I tasted as much as I could until I finally told them I just couldn't eat another bite. They all just laughed.
By the end of the meal (2 1/2 hours later) we were all sitting around gabbing. Well, I was sitting there listening to them gab trying to decipher what exactly was being said by their body language and hand gestures. Every now and then one of them would look at me and explain what was being said in which I would either be completely off or somewhat right on target with my guessing game. Mostly they discussed students but they were very curious about me. They wanted to know what I use to do back in Seattle, how long I was planning to stay in Taiwan, and one lady told me I should go to Indonesia to find a new boyfriend as casually as if I were to buy a new pair of shoes. But then again, boyfriends are kind of like shoes aren't they? Some are old, some are new and you only bring then out on special occasions, some are just reliable and comfortable and you keep around until you just can’t get anymore use out of them and some just walk all over you.

As I was laughing off the idea of getting on a plane to go pick out a new man Jocelyn asked me if I wanted a Chinese name. I thought about it for a minute trying to act casual and cool while feeling rather excited and finally accepted by my peers. "You want to give me a Chinese name?" I asked. "Yes, Patty is good at Chinese. She will give you one.” Patty started to laugh informing all of us she was drunk off of the 3 shot glasses full of some kind of wine but started to think about it my new name. Meanwhile, the other ladies were teaching me how to say and write thinks properly in Chinese. Things like cat and hello, how are you. You know the important things. Patty grabbed the piece of paper that we were writing on and began writing my Chinese name out. This was exciting. I waited in anticipation to learn what it meant. Way Un Da. Way just means my last name supposedly but I don’t know if that is accurate because they answer the phone with Way but who am I to argue. Un means thankful and blessed. Which is true, I am thankful and blessed. Da was taken from AmanDA and means arrived, clever, modest, and knows everything very well. Ha, isn’t that the truth? The English meaning of Amanda is ‘Worthy to be loved.’ Together they mean I am a very thankful and blessed person who has arrived and is clever, modest and very intelligent and worthy to be loved. I can live with that.

Endings and Beginnings

As I was leaving my apartment today, I stepped outside and looked up into the late afternoon sky and an all to familiar feeling swept over me. Even though we are quickly approaching spring, their was an hint of autumn in the air that reminded me of my favorite time of year in Seattle. The way the hazzy blue sky looked as night slowly began to take hold made me feel peaceful for the first time in days. When asked, most Seattleites would say that summer is their favorite time of year for reasons I need not explain. For me, it's fall.

I have been struggling with my longing for Seattle since moving to Taiwan which ultimately, was one of several reasons for the recent demise of my relationship. Breakups are never easy and certainly not any easier that I am away from my family and friends. Truth be told, my immediate reaction was to get on a plane and go home. Home being Seattle. Home is where the heart is afterall and my heart is in Seattle with my family, friends, and of course, my cats. But as I reflect on the other reasons I came out to Taiwan, I realize that running home would be exactly what the Seattle Amanda would have done. Home is afterall, easy and safe. I have my mommy to hold me and tell me that 'this too shall pass' and 'the right person will love all of Amanda and accept you for who you are.' She still told me all that but over skype and not while she was craddling me in her arms. Not quite the same but it still made me feel better.

As much as I know Seattle holds all of my true loves, I'm here in Taiwan and am finding happiness in a sad time. Taiwan is truly a beautiful place if you can manage to escape the concrete jungle I temporarily call home. This past weekend I had the pleasure of seeing some of Taiwan's finest places and cultural events, Longdong and Pingxi Lantern Festival.

Even though I am approaching my 30th birthday, I still have a hard time saying words like 'Longdong' without laughing quitely to myself(or at least trying to). But if you ever come to Taiwan, Longdong is a place you must see. Off the Northeast coast of the island, Longdong is a rock climbers paradise. On a long row of gleaming sandstone cliffs, I worked my way up the wall with determination. I always knew I would like rock climbing and it wasn't until hanging out with John that I really had the opportunity to try it. I admit, my fear of heights made it somewhat intiminating at first but as I slowly began to trust the rope, belayer, and most importantly, myself, I wiggled my way up the sandstone until I reached the top and looked over my shoulder. The view was unreal. Miles and miles of Pacific Ocean, sandstone cliffs, and freedom. With everything I've been feeling lately, for the first time I felt really happy to be hanging many feet off the ground with the wind kissing my face and the smell off seawater lingering in my nostrils. I've missed you my friend. It's been awhile. Living in West Seattle, smelling salt water was a daily occurance and one I didn't realize I loved until moving here.

We packed up around 5:30 and headed home up the trail to catch the bus home. I wanted to get a good nights rest because the next day I was meeting my friend Elizabeth to go to the Pingxi Lantern Festival. Something not to be missed.

I met Elizabeth around noon at the Taipei Main Station and we began the two and a half hour journey to Shifen where the festival was being held. It was nice to be around someone, a friend that I could talk to. Elizabeth is one of those people that you instantly feel comfortable with and it was refreshing to be able to have girl time and just talk and sort throuh how I was feeling.

After a frustrating couple of hours hopping from one train to another, we finally arrived. Upon exiting the train, we were met with the sound of firecrackers being blown up and the smell of street food. Mission one, eat. As Elizabeth and I meandered up the street, we stopped at various food stalls and tried an array of treats from twice fried sweet potatoes (nothing is better then something fried at least twice), mushroom sticky rice you eat your hands, chocolate and apple slushy and of course sausage wtih garlic and onions. My tastebuds where more than happy.

As we worked our way up the street stopping to take pictures whenever possible,we talked with the comfort and ease of old friends. We shared various stories about our lives; where we came from, what we hoped for ourselves, and what we would wish for when we sent our lantern off into the sky. I forgot how much I love getting to know new friends. The little things that you connect on and the feeling you have when you realize you just talked for 9 straight hours with no awkward pauses. It's kindof like the feeling you get when you realize you met a guy you can finally be yourself around.

Elizabeth and I made our way to the area where they were sending the lanterns into the night. This was truly like nothing I've seen before and I have to say, one of the best days I've had in Taiwan so far. Watching the lanterns float off into the sky, I was overwhelmed with clarity and peace of mind. I do believe there is purpose and reason behind everything and yes, I now know this too shall pass. I deserve so much more. As I sent my own personal lantern into the night, I closed my eyes and made my wish. On the train ride home, crammed in like sardines, I was for the first time, at peace and filed with a confidence I have't had in quite some time. I smiled and thought to myself, there you are Amanda. It's been awhile.

Until I return to my true loves (when that is is still unclear) I will be exploring as much as I can. I may have moved out to Taiwan for love but in the end, maybe the love I find is not with someone else but even better, with myself.

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

So today is my mom's birthday and this is a shout out to her. May your day be bright, happy, and filled with lots of love. I wish I could be there to give you a big birthday hug. You are truly one of the most amazing women I know and I'm lucky to get to call you mom.

I am also leaving for Thailand this evening. I'm very grateful that I get to go to such an amazing and beautiful place. I will try to update while I am there but definitely when I return on the 19th. See you all when I get back!

Daily Affirmations

"I am a living, walking piece of Godself."

I like this affirmation. For years I have struggled with the idea of God. I grew up with this belief that God was a man with a long white beard and a white robe standing high above the clouds peering down upon me. Watching all that I do, hearing all that I say. I, in many ways, feared this being more than I truly loved it. This is, I believe, the 'idea' many have of God. As much as I wanted to believe in this pious Christian ideal, something has always pushed me to question what I was taught.

I'm not saying I don't believe in A God type. What I AM saying is I don't believe in this idyllic man so many claim to be true. I believe there is something so much greater than all of us out there. I find it hard to look around at all the beauty in the world and not feel in my heart that there is something greater, more powerful, and more loving than any of us could even wrap our heads around. That is my God. Not a man in a silly white robe...just a feeling inside myself. A knowing if I may. As I get to know myself a little more each day, I am beginning to understand that many of my beliefs are not my own. They have been passed down to me through my family and friends, society, and so many other influences. I know I may sound like a man many of us all know (my dad) as this is something he often talks about, but when I really think about the thoughts that run through my head, I realized that they're like a tape recorder. Some of these thoughts have been playing over and over for years. I realized only now that I am the one who gets to hit the stop button and then, erase. I get to truly define what I believe and don't believe in apart from all that I have every been taught. That my friends, is a truly amazing thing.

I hope your day is filled with happiness, laughter, and love.

Daily Affirmations

"I am doing exactly what I need to be doing at this time. I am exactly where I am."

This one couldn't speak any louder to me. Life has a funny way of just working out. As long as you are not trying force something, I believe everything will workout the way it is intended. It is my belief that there is a plan for all of us. Each individual has a purpose to fulfill in their life. Keeping yourself open to all experiences that come your way will open your life up to where you need to be.

Daily Affirmations

One of the things I've been doing since I arrived in Taiwan is finding a quote or affirmation I like and writing it down. Really reading and absorbing the words and trying to find a way that I can apply it to my own life, working towards true happiness. Today's affirmation was this. I found it interesting and easy to apply to my life.

I release myself from victim roles.
I am free, and always have been.
Experiences that made me feel like a victim
were only experiences that
appeared and disappeared
in the arena of consciousness that I am.

I think everyone has moments of feeling like a victim and it's easy to slip into that role. I've lived in that role many times before but it's important to know that the role of the victim is one of constant suffering and turmoil. Who wants to live a life like that? A wise man I know tells me often that happiness is a choice. So is becoming a victim to the mishaps of life. You can choose to let it defeat you or you can make the choice to learn from that experience and see how you can find something positive from it. At first it may be a little difficult because habits are hard to break but little by little, when you are conscious of your behavior and thought patterns, you can break free from the negative roles you have taken on in your life.

I cannot tell a lie...

It's been over a month now since I made the move to Taiwan and as I sit here at my desk starring at the grey pigeon perched on the ledge of my neighbors window, I have many things on my mind. At the forefront of those thoughts is more of a realization. I'm actually doing a pretty great thing here for my life. I'm not going to lie first, because everyone knows when I'm lying. I believe it was my Aunt Linda who once said to me and I quote, "Mandy, you wear your emotions on your face. You could never hide anything" Second, what good is lying anyway? It never does anyone any good. Let's be honest, out of all the lies that I've told in my life, I've ended up confessing about 99% of them. But then again, maybe that was from my good Catholic upbringing? Ha...right. So here it is, truth be told...are you ready? That was one of the hardest months of my life. And I'll admit another thing too...my mom called it. She didn't dare say anything to me but we know each other well enough to know what the other is thinking. Until recently I was struck with a serious case of homesickness. I knew I get a small case of the 'I miss my family, friends, cats, etc' blues but I guess you just never know what you are going to miss until it's not with you anymore. But things are looking up and each day brings with it hope and happiness. As I venture out and explore this island little by little, it does indeed "Touch My Heart" more and more. (that's the Taiwan slogan for those of you that didn't know)

It was my decision to move here and I intend to make the most out of everything I do and every person I meet along the way. July will be here soon enough and I will once again find myself resting my sweet head on that all to familiar pillow in my parents spare bedroom...or maybe, just maybe, I will come to love the life of an expat and move on to another land? Only time will tell I suppose.

Alright, so here a rundown of what I've seen and done over the last month or since I've last written. My friend Katie came for a visit for about two weeks. It was great having a familiar face here while I adjusted. True, I have John and I love having him here with me but sometimes you just need girlfriend time so for that reason it was great having her here. We spent New Years Eve in Taipei watching Taipei 101 explode with fireworks at the stroke of midnight. After a sleepless night, we took an early train to the East Coast to a town called Hualien which sits at the base of the Taroko Gorge National Park. Here is a link to some information on the gorge. I'm too lazy to sum it all up. Sorry! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taroko_National_Park. Anyway, we spent the first day walking around Hualien, visiting the beach, and several markets along the way. We were all pretty beat so we crashed early in our hotel room along with the couple of cockroaches that called our room home. We woke early the following day and the three of us loaded into the back of a minivan to take a tour of the Taroko Gorge. If you ever find yourself in Taiwan, I think seeing the gorge should be on the top of your list of things to do. It's a true showcase that reconfirms to me that there is something so much greater than us out there and we are only small specs of sand in this great big world. Not only this, I realized how important being close to he mountains and ocean are for my personal happiness. Living in the concrete jungle called Jhongli reminds me of that fact daily. But anyway, so I spent the first weekend of 2010 surrounded by this natural beauty and good friends. I really can't complain.

The following week was spent hanging out around Jhongli and Taipei. A local hike, a couple night markets, Karaoke, a few yoga classes, nothing too out of the ordinary. Katie's two weeks came to an end last Wednesday which was followed by me getting the flu that night. Perfect timing on Katie's part. Nobody needs to bare witness to me hugging the toilet which I proceeded to do for most of that night. I suppose two colds and the flu is the price you pay for working with kids on a regular basis. But I'm finally feeling like myself again and just in time. With about two and a half weeks until I leave for Thailand, I need my strength to prepare for the strain of laying on the beach and frolicking in the clear blue seas.

So, there you have it, the past month of Amanda's life. Nothing too out of the ordinary but still everyday brings something new and unfamiliar and in most cases, just downright funny or perplexing.

Oh, I forgot to mention this past weekends adventures which included seeing Hachiko (Do not go see this movie with anything less than a box of tissue and yes, boys will cry too), going to the Taipei Zoo (all zoos really are the same regardless of where you are in the world), and seeing my first play in Chinese in which I'd recommend bringing a translator.

Until next time...I hope you all are happy, healthy, and enjoying 2010! Much love...